and growing one. I want to thank you all so very much for all of your
encouraging words. Sometimes I think that God uses our friends and
family to speak to us during the dark times that are hard for one to
Some of you shared with me some of your own "out of the country"
experiences and told me how you could relate to what I was going
through. Then some of you told me that you could not relate or even
imagine going through the things we go through day in and day out.
One part of me feels bad for expressing my frustration. I think some
people took it the wrong way thinking that I needed or wanted out. But
that is not it at all. I can not imagine the day I will leave the
people here. The other part of me thought why not let the American
people know what bad days are like in a place like this. They can be
very discouraging and overwhelming among the extreme conditions which
can make a day even more dramatic. I think from the very beginning of
my journey I have always been extremely honest about the ups and downs
of missionary life. Someone wrote me that most missionary story letters
are ones about success, conversions, saving lives and exciting
experiences. I think that we have seen and experienced all of these but
we also have experienced bad days and sometimes need our support system
to help lift us up. And that was exactly what happened.
Another thought that concerned some people were my children. Thinking
that it is too much for them and I need to think of them. But then
someone else would write that I should think of the benefits we are
giving our children being here learning self-sacrifice, hard work and
compassion. I weighed this one out and I think my children are exactly
where God wants them for right now.
One of my favorite thoughts from one of you was this:
Most of the time we as humans miss the forest for the trees, this seems
to me to be one time where we have to ignore the forest and just focus
on the trees. The forest is God's problem. He has just asked us to
deal with the trees He puts in front of us. Every life you touch, every
little bit of suffering you ease, every time you teach the people in
Bere, Adventist or not, that there is a better way, shows God to them.
And each of us can only do that one person at a time Remember Matthew
26. Whatever you do to the least of these you have done to me.
This was exactly the way I was feeling, just overwhelmed with sin all
around me. I know it is everywhere we all go but when you are here
helping the way I have committed myself to help it is almost like I am a
therapist that listens to problems all day.
Another thought someone sent me was, "if He leads you to it, He will
lead you through it". Just encouraging thoughts!
To wrap up the lesson I have learned from God and all of you is this.
It is time for me to take a couple of weeks to recharge and spend time
reading and praying and meditating on the good things that God has given
me. I have already begun to do this and I am telling you that this is
exactly what God is telling me to do right now. Many of you put that
little bug of advise in your letters and I thank you for that.
Sometimes it is hard for a "missionary" to do this without guilt because
there is so much work all around you all the time. But for now I feel
as though it is necessary to be a better missionary. Even Jesus needed
to get away from the people and spend time with His Father alone.
The last thing I want to share with everyone is something else that
someone sent me to encourage me. I am forwarding it to see if maybe it
will help you on your own journey. Thank you all for being the best
support system any little missionary could have. God bless you all and
we love you.
"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you
rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly
in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and
My burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
Promises from God
You say: "It's impossible." God says: All things are possible (Luke
You say: "I'm too tired." God says: I will give you rest (Matthew
You say: "Nobody really loves me." God says: I love you (John 3:1 6 &
John 3:34 )
You say: "I can't go on." God says: My grace is sufficient (II
Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
You say: "I can't figure things out." God says: I will direct your steps
(Proverbs 3:5- 6)
You say: "I can't do it." God says: You can do all things (Philippians
You say: "I'm not able." God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8) You
say: "It's not worth it" God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28 )
You say: "I can't forgive myself." God says: I Forgive you (I John 1:9 &
You say: "I can't manage." God says: I will supply all your needs
You say: "I'm afraid." God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear
(II Timothy 1:7)
You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated" God says: Cast all your
cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)
You say: "I'm not smart enough." God says: I give you wisdom (I
You say: "I feel all alone." God says: I will never leave you or forsake
you (Hebrews 13:5)