XO

We are in the states now and enjoying our time with friends and family.  I have to admit though that I have thought several times about going back to Africa early.  There are so many things about the place that I miss but nothing compares to the hole I feel in my heart not being with the people.

Today was a hard day to get through.  I want to blink my eyes and be with all my loved ones in Bere.   Today there was a tragedy!  I got a phone call from Tony.  I called him back.  The first part of our conversation went like normal asking how he was doing.  He said he was okay and then started to tell me that his friend Kalgonbae (16 years old) was with him and that he tells me hi.  I of course responded with a hello back and said for him to tell everyone that I miss them very much.  Then Tony starts to try to tell me something about a little boy that is Kalgonbae's nephew, one of my rays of sunshine.  His name is Exode (my xo at least that is how I always heard it pronounced) and is about 2 years old.  I am having trouble understanding what Tony is trying to say and part of me knows and understands completely but I want to be wrong.  I ask him over and over to say it again.

"Say it in French if you don't know how to say it in English."  I hear him say Exode (XO) is dead.

 I respond with "What? What are you trying to say?  Is Exode (XO) okay?"

 Tony responds, "no, he died today."  I instantly drop to my knees in Kohls and begin to cry not even acknowledging that people are around me.  I am in denial. 

"No Tony!  Why are you saying this?  Are you saying Exode (XO) is sick?  What happened?  How?  Comma?  (How? in French) 
 Tony put Kalgonbae on the phone and tells me clearly in French. 
"Il est tombe dan l'eau  (He fell down in the water)

I instantly knew that he fell in a well.  I have heard of other children doing the same.  It is very common there.  Many have open wells where it is just a hole in the ground with nothing around it to stop someone from falling in.  I take it in and begin to cry to him on the phone.  I am overwhelmed with sadness.  They ask if Cory is around.  I go around and find Cory and tell him in 2 seconds what happened and give him the phone.  I move to another place out of an isle and go back to my knees and just sob.

I need to tell you about this boy.  He was not just any boy.  He was very special to me.  He would come visit me almost daily.  He would come to ask for candy or a balloon.  Or sometimes he just wanted to barrow a ball to play with.  Every time I would leave my compound on my motorcycle I would have to stop and pick him up to give him a hug if he was out there. (his family lives right across the street from us) I always thought that he had the perfect name because he was so affectionate.  Saying his name would make me think of xo for hugs and kisses.   I have become good friends with his whole family.  To know his family would allow you to understand how this boy has become so sweet.  All of them are very kind and gentle people. 

I am absolutely heartbroken.  It is the hardest thing for me to be here and not with them all.  I think about all the suffering that happens over there.  It is just too much!  Why?  Why does it have to be this hard for them?  I don't understand the imbalance of America and Africa?  I know God loves them but I can't help but ask many questions about this place.  My heart has totally melted with love for all of them.  I must admit it does scare me about going back.  I look back at everything my own family has gone through in the last year and four months but then to add all the things that have happened to all the other volunteers or the locals, it is just too much.  What will happen this next year?   But I remind myself that God has put a love in my heart for the people in Bere for a reason and it is even hard for me to think about being truly happy in the states again.  See that is what God can do.  If you remember our very first letter, our testimony letter,  you would know how much I never wanted to go to Africa in the first place.  I am learning  not to ever limit God.  He has worked miracles.  Because of all those miracles and experiences with God, that is what helps me keep my faith in times like these.  He knows best.  But I am sure ready to go home and put all this sadness behind us. 

Please pray for XO's family and for all of us in Bere.  When I walked to the airstrip that last morning in Bere before coming to the states.  I had no idea that when I walked outside my gate and saw little XO running up to me with his arms stretch up for a goodbye hug.  Little did I know that it would be my last hug and kiss that I would get from my little ray of sunshine, XO. 

Tammy (Mama of Bere)

Nov 2, 2010

It was a quiet night and all the children were settling down.  Every night we have several children visiting.  This night was no different. The only thing different was that Brichelle told me she was not feeling good.  I thought that it was only because I gave her an antibiotic and another medication for her malaria treatment.  She ended up laying down in the hallway on the cold cement.  After about 10 minutes her stomach pain got progressively worse.  She started to vomit.  I thought she was just having real trouble with the medicine I gave her.  Then the stomach pain was still getting worse.  Usually once you throw up you feel better and that was not the case with her.  She began to sweat profusely.  Her face turned white and she began begging to God for Him to help her. Over and over again she would say, "Oh God help me!"  She looked over at me and said, "mom it is like I have been poisoned."  Jamie had already gone to sleep and by this hour there was just our family and Tony and another boy.  I decided I needed to do something. Brichelle is a tough cookie and she was really suffering.  I was starting to become really scared.  I woke Jamie and told him something was really wrong with Brichelle and we need to get Dr. James.  Jamie gets dressed and runs over to James' house. No answer!  He runs back to let me know.  I told him that we need to just get her over to the hospital.  She is unable to walk and so Jamie carries her over to the emergency room and puts her down on one of the beds behind a curtain. Now her fingers are becoming numb and her face is as white as a sheet. The nurse takes down all information and goes to find James.  He was at his house in a deep sleep.  He comes into the small cubicle and asks many calm questions.  Brichelle is concerned about the fact that her hands are going numb.  James continues to touch her stomach and locate the area of pain.  He then hits the bottom of each heal and asked her if it hurt her stomach and where?  The pain is bad now and she has to concentrate on every breath.  James looks at me and says that it is her appendix.  I just looked at him in fear and said, NO!  I knew right away that it meant surgery.  This is the last place on earth that I would ever want any of us to have surgery.  Not because of James.  I trusted him fully.  My concern was in the cleanliness of the surgery room and all the instruments that would be entering my baby girls body. Once Brichelle discovered that she was going to have to have surgery she became scared but never shed a tear.  She is such a strong person.  I am the one who began to cry.  She looked at me and said, "mom if you start crying I am not going to be happy."  I knew I needed to be strong for her.  I ran to the house to get on my scrubs.  I was with her until they began to cut her.  Dr. James told me that if something went wrong that I should not be in there.  That I could get in the way of them helping her.  I was way too emotional and knew he was right.  Jamie and I waited in the prep room right outside the operating room.  I cried the entire time she was in there.  I think it was just so late and everything was happening so fast.  I had Cory go down to the airstrip and get Wendy Roberts to be in the operating room with Brichelle and to help with any embarrassing situations.  We were up with her even after the surgery. She got sick from all the medicine they pumped into her small body. Jamie stayed with her over night so I could get some sleep at home.  We were up until about 2:30 a.m. My past week was full of Cory getting malaria and strep throat and then his whole mouth broke out in white spots, on his tongue and gums and all over his throat.  He couldn't eat and if a person can't eat then he can't take the medication for malaria because it will lower your blood sugar.  Cory had to be admitted into the hospital and have an IV put in. He was in tears even after coming home due to the pain in his mouth. One day after Cory comes home from the hospital then Brichelle starts in with a high fever and a headache which is classic symptoms for malaria. The next day she gets strep throat too.  Now I have them both on the same medicine.  Then the third day of malaria treatment Brichelle gets this.  I feel as though Satan is really doing his best to get us down.  I think he wants us to stay in America and not come back.  I really feel like we are being attacked.  Right now all I have energy for is to survive.  I am so tired and I know the rest of the family is too.  Please pray for our family.  We need encouragement and rest.  We need this time in America to get our strength back to fight Satan and all the things he is doing here.  At least I know Satan is not happy.  That must mean we are doing something here he does not like.  So that thought alone keeps me going.

Oct 10, 2010

Dear Friends and Family,


I woke up this morning knowing that there was going to be people waiting to talk to me about school. I had to go out to the fence and tell them that the money was finished. Later, Sarah told them and so did Naomi but they continued to stand out there until after lunch waiting to see if there was something that would change my mind.

We have been able to help with tuitions for over 200 children! Praise the Lord! God has really blessed the children with help this year. I was hoping just to meet what we did last year and we have more than doubled that number. I will be able to give an exact number after some of the people I have interviewed come up with their report card from the school they went to last year. It is a requirement for us to have this. Many from the states have asked how many the school will hold and if there are enough teachers. The primary holds 350 students and the secondary school is 220. And yes there are enough teachers. It is not too late for anyone who may have considered sponsoring a child. There still is a need.

I would like to give an update on what is happening with Odette. Naomi and I have now committed to going over to the hospital everyday to work with her. Her health seemed to be going down. Her lower back bone is protruding and her knee was 4 times the normal size and her ankle is now swollen along with many other problems. She has a really big wound on one of her hips and she has horrible constant pain on her outer part of one of her thighs. Her muscle mass in her legs is almost at nothing. She can not control her urine or her BM's. She is so thin and has way too many bruises and marks all over her body. It is hard to see her like this. Naomi and I are going to work with her everyday trying to get her to move around a little. We started this week just encouraging her to move her toes and ankles to get some kind of circulation going. After one day of that we moved to her trying to straighten her legs for circulation in the rest of her leg. By the third day Naomi and I are really encouraged. The swelling in her ankle is about gone and she is now sitting up when it is time for our visit. After a few days of this and a pedicure I gave her on sabbath that she just loved she is starting to even smile a bit more. Today she hung on to Naomi's neck and actually stood up. Not completely on her own but she is getting better. She is starting to trust us and she looks forward to our visits. She has told her father that she does not want his help anymore she wants to wait for Tammy and Naomi. :) Just in this one week we have seen a huge improvement. After each visit we pray with her. Today she also started to open up with emotional therapy. She told us some things that were bothering her about her experience and she burst into tears. She has a long road of healing but I know that God can help her through this.

Please continue to pray for her and for us as we try to help her through all of this.

Tammy

Sponsoring for school update!

GOD IS SO GOOD!

It is so fun to watch the Lord work! By all of us working together we have been able to help 155 children get a Christian education! "Praise God!" I don't even know where to start to say thank you for the children here. I was hoping to match what we did last year and you were able to just about double it! I want to share what has been happening here though through this process. We have been taking interviews on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays, these are the days Naomi works. Each time the number has been growing outside the gate. I was letting everyone inside our compound and then just talking to one family at a time. But word spread and the number on Wednesday was over 200 people waiting to talk to me. It has been an overwhelming sight to see. I tried to just stay focused and do what I can without getting stressed out.

On Wednesday people where starting to feel desperate and broke through the door to get to me. I immediately got up from an interview to see what was happening outside and all of them where coming toward the house. I yelled to Naomi to help me get them all out. They were not going to budge. Valery, another person that I have written about that has helped Jamie a lot through restoring the school. He is the vice principle at the school. He was coming to check on me and asked what was going on right at the time that they broke in. He really helped to yell at everyone to get out. I had Naomi tell everyone that I would not speak to another person if they did not leave. It was very intimidating. After time we got the place cleared out. I came into the house to get myself together and finish with the interview that I had in the breezeway of our house. Valery called me and said, "mum I think that it would be good for you to not see any more people for today, there is too many people." I had to agree! Since, I have had many come to me at a steady pace. They seem to find their way in. I had Naomi work today (Thursday). I want to share some of the stories that I have heard. I had one grandmother come to me today that had four grandchildren. Both of the parents died of Aids. She looked like she had some kind of arthritis in her hands but who knows what it was. She says she does her best with the children but it is very hard on her and her husband. They are very tired. She wants what is best for the children but they just cannot do it on their own. Another lady came in with four little ones. She is the wife of one of the men that died last year from a killing spree that went on between the Nangjere people and the Arabs. This was a fight about the harvest. There seems to be a fight every year. So she is alone and needs help. I have had children bring in children. There are no parents and the older children are taking care of the younger and trying to go to school too. Many mothers have come in saying that their husbands have died from Aids or have left them and they don't know where they are. One family has nine children and we helped with four. There is just too many for them so most of the younger ones just don't even get a chance to go to school. One of the boys I picked is fourteen and he is in 3rd grade. I wanted to give him a chance. Some girls are wanting to come back to school after being out for a couple years because they got married. Now the husband is gone for one reason or another and realize that they need to try to do something with their lives.

It is difficult to sit and listen to all the depressing stories. I would look over at the children while the parents are talking. I would notice how they would try to come presentable but would still have a shredded shirt but it would be clean and buttoned all the way up to the top. Or one had on a really nice shirt but a pair of shorts that look like they have been through three other children already and as this one boy turns to leave there is a 4 inch rip in the bottom exposing him. Most of these people are easy to decide to help. So many have a sad story. But there are times that I have to say no or only help with one or two in the family for whatever reason. But however I decide I do take it all very seriously and try to be fair. Naomi and I prayed together for wisdom and patience this morning. God is helping us, we have no doubt about that.

Well I will continue to keep you all informed. I just wanted to give you an update and let you know we are working very hard to fill the school. I pray that God will work miracles in these children and bring them to Christ so you all can hear their stories in heaven.

Thank you again!

Tammy

Been in N'Djamena for the last 6 days

September 26,2010

Hello Everyone,


I just want to send out a general explanation to all of you as to why you have not heard from me. I have been in N'Djamena for the last 6 days. I did not have Internet and so I have not been able to download everyones emails. I am so sorry that I have left so many of you wondering if I am even getting your emails. I want to respond to each one of you so give me a day or two to catch up. I have gone through and read them all and I want to thank you all for all your generous donations for the children in Bere'. And I also want to thank you for the encouraging words to help us through difficult times. Thank you for all the prayers. Thank you for supporting our mission here in the bush in Bere'.

Blessings,

Tammy

Sponsoring a child questions

September 16, 2010

Thank you to all of you who have responded already to our plea. I guess I was not clear about the prices I wrote down. For the 7th -10th grade kids it is $42 for the whole year. That price also includes their uniform. And the same for the elementary children it is $20 for the whole year and that too includes their uniform. I did that because it is required for them to wear the uniform to school and it is hard for them to come up with $10.

The way to sponsor would be to send the money to our church in Tennessee. Send checks payable to: "Harrison SDA Church" Address to send to:

Harrison SDA Church
P.O. Box 969
Harrison, TN 37341

*** When you send it please send it with a little note just specifying that it is to go to Chad for the Parkers for the School sponsoring.

Since this is a donation it is tax deductible.

If you have any more questions please continue to write us.

Tammy Parker

Sponsoring a Child for School

September 15, 2010

Dear Friends and Family,

Well school is starting for the children here at the Adventist school October 1st. I have people lining up at my door to talk to me to see if I will be able to help their child go to school. I have been telling them, that at the moment, I can only listen to their stories and write their names down. So I am needing to know if any of you are interested in sponsoring a child for school this year? It is $20 for one child for grades 1-6th and that includes their uniform for the whole year. Then for the 7th-10th grades it is $42 per year which also includes their uniform. I know most people will want to help the little ones but keep in mind how difficult it is for them to get $42 together for the older students.

As I walked around my house, waiting for Naomi to come to work so she can help me talk to everyone, I began to think about the kids I do know that I am somehow going to have to help. I thought about one boy that is living in our mango trees right outside our compound. Yes, he sleeps there and keeps all of his clothes there. He only has one arm and struggles everyday for food. I think about Appolinaire the little boy that has no parents or grandparents. I think of my wash lady that got beat up by her husband a while back and her two little children that will be going into the primary school. I think about a little boy "Papa" that has about 9 children in his family and his father sells baskets and his mother is crippled. Or the other women that have come here with their stories that their husband is dead from AIDS and they are sick and have many children but they pick one to bring to me to help put in school. I think about who will take all their children if the mother dies from Aids too. I had one boy come to me last night that will be going into 10th grade. He wants to go to the Adventist school here but his big brother said no because the uniform is too much money. The uniform is $10. I asked him why he wants to go to our school. He said because the teachers at the school he goes to now are always drunk and do not really teach very good. The teachers even invite the children to come drink with them when they are passing along the road. This boy goes to our church now and he would really like to go to our Christian school. I know that I could probably take care of a few of these children myself with some of the monthly donations but it just will not be enough. So I am asking any of you if you would like to help. I can even write to you all everyday and write the stories of the people that I will be listening to. I decide by their stories whether or not we will put their child into school. So if you question whether or not you are needed, you are. Or if you question whether or not this really is going to change a child's life, I guarantee it will make all the difference in the world for each one. Some of these kids will not be able to go to school at all if we do not help them, it is that simple. And to be giving them a Christian education, well that could be everlasting. This school could be the only place that they get any kind of Bible teaching. Last year we were able to help 80 students be enrolled into the school. I would love to see us meet that number again. By the grace of God!

Thank you all for all that you are doing for the children here in Bere'. If you could email me back and let me know if you are able to help so I can begin writing down the names of the children at the school immediately.

Thank you all for being a part of our mission here in Bere'. I think it is very exciting to see what God is going to do next for these children. It is very humbling for me to be here and see everything that the people here have to go through. But, I am very happy to be here doing whatever God is leading me to do. There is no better place to be then the place that you know God has put you.

Tammy Parker